Insults and The Masque of Anarchy

benchleyfan: These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class!

  1. “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; Bring a friend, if you have one.”

     - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill. 

    “Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second…If there is one.”

     - Winston Churchill, in response. 
  2. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease.”

    Disraeli: “That depends, Sir, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

  3. “He had delusions of adequacy.”

     - Walter Kerr 
  4. “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”

     - Clarence Darrow
  5. “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

     - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). 
  6. “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”

     - Moses Hadas
  7. “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

     - Mark Twain
  8. “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..”

     - Oscar Wilde 
  9. “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”

     - Stephen Bishop
  10. “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”

    - John Bright
  11. “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”

    - Irvin S. Cobb 
  12. “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”

    - Samuel Johnson 
  13. “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”

    - Paul Keating
  14. “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”

    - Charles, Count Talleyrand
  15. “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”

    - Forrest Tucker 
  16. “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

    - Mark Twain 
  17. “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

    - Mae West
  18. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

    - Oscar Wilde
  19. “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… For support rather than illumination.”

    - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
  20. “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”

    - Billy Wilder
  21. “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”

    - Groucho Marx
  22. “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

    - Winston Churchill

I met Murder on the way –

He had a mask like Castlereagh –

Very smooth he looked, yet grim;

Seven bloodhounds followed him

All were fat; and well they might

Be in admirable plight,

For one by one, and two by two,

He tossed them human hearts to chew

Which from his wide cloak he drew.

The Masque of Anarchy - Wikipedia
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